15_november (15_november) wrote,

There are no grown-ups.

There are no soul mates. Not in the traditional sense, at least. In fact, “soul mate” isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.

You will miss out on some near soul mates. This goes for friendships, too. There will be unforgettable people with whom you have shared an excellent evening or a few days. Now they live in Hong Kong, and you will never see them again. That’s just how life is.

Pamela Druckerman
 for New York Times
Febr. 28. 2014.

А это я вынесла из комментариев к ее статье:

Especially the soul mate bit. I wonder how much of modern divorces are the result not of true incompatibility but unreasonably high expectations - we expect our spouse to be our end all and be all but, just like us, they are only human, nor are they mind readers. But when we expect the absolute and earth shaking commitment we see in the movies, such is not enough, so we dismantle what might be great for the unattainably perfect.

True love is something created over a lifetime of shared experiences, common effort, and commitment, and not necessarily something that hits us like a thunderbolt. It's telling someone, I'm going to love you and I will stick by you, and then making it so despite the frictions and minor and major inconveniences.

Life is not about finding the best. It is about making the best out of what you've got.
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